Let Nothing Separate Your Marriage

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

– Genesis 2:24 (Amplified)

The Bible states in Genesis 2:24 that we must leave our father and mother to become one with our spouse. This scripture confirms that the oneness is developed when we learn to leave those that we are familiar with…not to be taken in a negative aspect because our family and friends have been there for us numerous times, but we cannot allow those relationships to interfere, come before, or between our marital relationships.

Are you still emotionally and physically attached to relationships other than your marriage? Do majority of your arguments with your spouse consist of your parents, your friends or past relationships? Do you spend more time with people of these other relationships than you do with your spouse? Has your spouse expressed their dislike or discomfort of your relationship with this person or people?

If you were able to answer “yes” to any of the above questions, it’s time for you to reevaluate that particular relationship and think about how it’s hurting your marriage. Although it may not seem like a big deal to you, you have to respect how your spouse feels. Respecting one another’s views, opinions, feeling, and morals are very important. If your family/friends love you, as I’m sure they do, they should respect the fact that your marriage is now your first priority.

Maybe your struggle does not include relationships with your family or friends. It could be other things such as, hanging out too much or distracted with other things (like video games, tv or internet, etc) instead of spending time with your mate, conversing with those of the opposite sex on social networks, going to strip clubs, being selfish-only wanting things to go your way, the use or abuse of alcohol or drugs. Whatever the situation, your spouse has repeatedly expressed their concern and it’s causing problems in your marriage. No longer can we do those things or act the same way we did before we were married.

“Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God’s image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness.” –Ephesians 4:22-24 (Amplified)

Know that God has given you the power to overcome anything that you choose to overcome: “Behold! I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and [physical and mental strength and ability] over all the power that the enemy [possesses]; and nothing shall in any way harm you” - Luke 10:19 (Amplified)

Marriage is its self is hard work, let alone striving to become one. But we can’t give up or throw in the towel on the covenant (commitment) you made to God and to your spouse just because things get hard. Remember, marriage is the uniting of two different individuals. Therefore, it may not feel good giving up those things you were used to doing, because when you decided to marry your spouse (and prayerfully you’ve given your life back to Christ)your life is no longer your own.  Don’t change your old ways/habits because your spouse continually nags you, but have the desire to change whatever is hindering your marriage from moving towards oneness, whether it’s your unwillingness to “cut the cord” from other relationships or change your habits that don’t strengthen or bring joy to your marriage. The change must first take place in your heart.

Speaking of nagging, know that it doesn’t do a situation any justice to constantly nag your spouse. Your constant gripping only drives them away and causes them to put up a wall in which they can no longer hear your plea for them to stop or change. The possibility of them receiving what you are saying dwindles and they become defensive. So if you’ve been nagging them….STOP! Instead, pray and ask God to change their ways, BELIEVE that change will come and WAIT PATIENTLY. This is you saying that you’ve realized there’s nothing you can do (or say) that will bring about change, so you’re giving it all to God.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” –     1 Peter 5:7 (New Living Translation)

We must purpose to not allow anyone or anything separate, destroy or tarnish our marriage. I pray that you will be more determined to stay married than you were determined to get married.

Repent and ask God to forgive you for putting things or people before your marriage. Then ask your spouse to forgive you and reassure them that this will no longer be an issue - that you are ready to let those relationships (or things) go.

Now purpose to be determined – because giving up is not an option.

Striving for Oneness…God’s plan for your marriage.

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