To Be Honest, Nothing's Changed!

I remember when my husband and I had to sleep on a twin bed during the first few years of our marriage. And because the bed was so small, we had to sleep holding each other. God definitely has a sense of humor because we had to sleep like this even when we went to bed mad. Ok, so that was back in 1999. Now here it is, 2012, and we've since then elevated to a king-size bed. You would think that now we have all the space needed to stretch out, but we still find ourselves sleeping in that same position...in a small section of this enormaous bed. We can't help it, it's familiar to us. One night, as we held each other as usual, God revealed to me that in all honesty, nothing has changed. Yes, our circumstances have changed, as we went from a twin bed to a king, but WE haven't changed. We still sleep as if we were in a twin bed. After all these years and all we've been through, we still hold each other at night, in the same position. Just like we did back then...in the beginning.

Listen, that person you fell in love with and wanted to marry....well they're still the same person...that fact will never change. Your circumstances may change but through all the ups and downs, ins and outs, they are still the same man/woman who made you laugh, who you could share anything with, or couldn't wait to see or talk to. Don't allow what's going on in your marriage cause you to forget where the two of you came from...how it all started. There was once love, passion for one another, agreement, determination to make things work (no matter what)...think back to those moments, those familiar feelings. It's not too late. Search your heart, dig through all the mess, put aside the hurt and find ways to rekindle what has been lost. You can still love your spouse as you did once before.

As you read this, you may be saying to yourself, things have changed. They've hurt me, they don't look at me the same, I'm not in love with them anymore, we have kids so there's no time for one another, we are struggling financially, I've cheated, they've cheated, I've had enough, we've done so much wrong to one another it can't be fixed. Those are all real situations but they come to tear you apart. The devil will try to do anything that we will allow him to do to destroy our marriage. When we finally realize that our spouse is still the person we fell in love with and married, we discover that it's not them making these mistakes that cause (or caused) so much pain and division but it's the enemy using them. You then get the revelation that this is a spiritual battle oppose to a physical battle against you and your spouse. The devil is your enemy, not them.

One day, a book will be published that will share our story in its' entirety, but for now, let's fast forward, 13 years later. We've been through lies, cutting each other with our words, cheating, arguing, having our own agendas, telling each other we're not "in-love" anymore, wishing we weren't married, living as roommates, a miscarriage, having nothing financially, living with family members, to reuniting from separating for almost a year. And that's just the watered down version of our struggles. I tell you all of this to show you that, we too, have been through things and allowed them to obstruct our vision of why we fell in love with each other in the first place. 

As I've shared previously in other blogs, it hasn't been easy getting through all of the past pains, but we have made it a joint determination to strive for oneness. In a sense, it's like we've decided to start all over, using those familair feelings as a foundation. Of course in the beginning thoughts of the pass tried to hinder us. But once we made up in our mind to not let anything else come between us, we learned to combat those thoughts. We can see clearer now. I see the guy I feel in love with back in 1998 (and vice versa). Yes, our circumstances changed throughout the years but what hasn't changed is he's still that guy...my baby!

Another thing that hasn't changed....God! He is (and has been) the same yesterday, today and forever. If He did it before, He will do it again. I know He's brought you out of many situations...this one is no different. He can restore your marriage, your feelings for your spouse, and allow you to forgive. He's waiting for you to allow Him to have His way. Open your heart to Him. Seek Him in prayer. It's in the secret place that He will reveal things you've never seen or heard before. But you must be willing to hear from Him and then obey His instructions which may not always "feel" good to you. Don't just obey Him in the things that's convenient for you. Die to your flesh so that you're not leaning on your own understanding. Focus on what God wants you to do. When you're willing to adjust your life to fit His Word, there's nothing that God won't do for you.

Believe!
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